So, what is it that you DO?

This is quite possibly one of the most difficult questions for me to answer.  I find myself saying things like, "oh, I'm JUST a mom" or "I stay at home with my kid".  The problem with statements like these is that unless you have been a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM)--and wife, you truly do not understand how difficult it can be.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I do.  I feel like all the schooling I've had and the life experiences I've been blessed with have prepared me for this moment. 

Without my undergraduate degree, I would not have a developmental psych, class under my belt, nor would I be able to help Staci learn musical instruments such as the piano and classical guitar--which I wouldn't have had the opportunity to learn had it not been for college.  Also, I'm quite versed in the theory of ballet--even if my technique is amateur at best, and can explain what terms (French terms) mean in English.  So, if she does decide she likes dance and sticks with it, I can explain that 'pique' means 'to prick' and 'port de bras' means 'carriage of the arms'. 

My graduate degree in social work has helped me in many areas of my life.  It has enhanced my interpersonal skills by making me more understanding and more open minded.  Most importantly, it taught me how to research.  I wrote lots of research papers in undergrad, but I truly learned the art of research in grad school.  As a mom, it has helped me research when the best time (and way) to introduce solids, find anwers to my breastfeeding questions, find answers to help us overcome our sleep deprivation, and has taught me that reaching out to others in a time of need is crucial. 

As Staci's mom, I'm her nurse. I'm her main source of food, fun, comfort, and care.  It's my job to ensure that, when the time comes, she's ready for kindergarten.  It's my job to make sure she feels loved.  It's my job to teach her how to eat food so that when she is three she's not still on puree's.  I'm her personal chef, her maid, and apparently responsible for helping her fall asleep (this I did not choose, but I will do it with pride). 

I write this because I often find myself frustrated that I spent (wasted) so much time, energy, and money on schooling.  Our society puts so much emphasis on going to college, yet most of the jobs you can get from a liberal arts degree don't pay a penny more than a job obtained with a high school diploma.  This is not true across the board obviously, but as a high school student I was led to believe that college would solve all my problems and not to worry about student loan debt because it would easily be paid off.  56k later I'm a SAHM who, many times, would gladly trade in my diplomas to have that debt erased.  This is when I must remind myself that without these experiences, I would not be who I am today.  And, to be honest, I like me!  So, in celebration of SAHM's everywhere, I wanted to leave you all with an email I received.  I did not write this but I think it is very accurate!

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office,

Was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.


She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
'What I mean is, ' explained the recorder,
'do you have a job or are you just a ...?'


'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman.
'I'm a Mom.'


'We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,'
Said the recorder emphatically.


I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
In the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
Efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.'
'What is your occupation?' she probed.


What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
'I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.'

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
Looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words..
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.


'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,
'just what you do in your field?'


Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
'I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
And already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'


There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
Completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.


As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
Testing out a new vocal pattern.


I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
Distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.'
Motherhood!
What a glorious career!


Especially when there's a title on the door.


--auther unknown