Beat the Booby Traps!

You might have noticed a new button boldly (and quite beautifully) displaying the female form sitting off to the right, and I wanted to take a couple minutes and talk about the 'Best for Babies' campaign.  I do not consider myself a great writer, and really, not even a good one, so I'll let them say it for themselves as I believe they say it best. "BEST for BABES is the only non-profit dedicated to giving breastfeeding a makeover and to revealing and removing the “booby traps”- the barriers to breastfeeding that keep tripping women up! New moms don’t need more judgment, pressure, or to be discriminated against for nursing, they deserve to be cheered on, coached and celebrated! BFB is giving moms the boost they need to be successful. We are elevating breastfeeding to a world-class cause and harnessing the power of celebrities, corporations, foundations, fashion, advertising, the medical community and the media to break down the barriers." 

As a way to support their campaign, they're asking people to display their adds pro-bono on their blogs and websites and to share their stories of success.  I don't really think my journey to successful breastfeeding is all that interesting or courageous, but I did have my own learning curve and hiccups to overcome.  So here it is, in all its gritty truth.

It would be an understatement to say I wanted to breastfeed.  I NEEDED to breastfeed.  Even before my husband and I started trying to have a baby, I would dream of breastfeeding my babies.  Maybe that's weird, but in my dreams it was the most wonderful feeling.  The amount of love I felt in those dreams could only be surpassed when I gave birth to my little angel and could start nursing her for real. 


With this in mind, I was terrified it wouldn't work.  I had seen friends try to breastfeed and fail, only to have horrid guilt about it not working for them.  (Which by the way, any woman who even TRIES in our society--and many others--should be celebrated.  Not shunned or judged if it doesn't work.  I make it my personal mission to help any friend breastfeed successfully--and if it's possible, I will!)

I was so dedicated to nursing that I studied the Bradley Method and succeeded in having a natural labor and delivery.  This issue is for another post entirely, but to make a long story very short, babies who are born out of a non-medicated delivery have an easier time learning to nurse because they are not drugged.  Even so, many babies born in a medicated delivery nurse just fine and some born naturally still have problems so it's no guarantee, but I wasn't taking any chances. 

So, after the single most momentous occasion of my life in which I became a mother, I set out to nurse my baby.  After many failed attempts to get Staci latched on in the first hours of her life, I had a wonderful nurse come and help.  She was able to help Staci latch on and teach Max how to ensure her bottom lip was folded down to minimize my discomfort. 

Over the ~36 hours I was at the hospital, 5 of which I was in labor, I had to ask for help to get Staci to latch every single time--maybe 13? I can't be sure exactly.  Contrary to popular belief, it is anything but second nature.  Learning to nurse is incredibly foreign to a first time mom and quite difficult!  As my need to leave the hospital drew near (they don't let you sleep there, in case you were wondering) I grew more and more fearful I would get home and not be able to get my baby to eat.  That, to a brand new parent, is a horrifying thought. 

Our original labor and delivery nurse, who I absolutely despised, took one look at my breasts and said,  "You're going to need a nipple sheild."  After all the research I had done, I was determined NOT to use one as I had learned it can be more problematic than the problem it solves.  Also, since I already didn't like her, that made me even more set in my decision that I did not want to use one!  At one point, before attempting to latch Staci at the breast, I was attempting to draw my nipple out.  I had flat nipples to begin with, so it was difficult for Staci as a newborn to find it and latch on.  She actually reached down and tugged and twisted my nipple quite visciously.  It hurt. Bad!  My despise turned to hatred.

Not too long after that, we got a new nurse, who was wonderful, and then a new nurse after that.  Our final nurse, whom I did like very much (as I did all the other nurses I had over my stay) suggested a sheild to me again.  At this point, since we were set to leave in just a few hours, I listened.  I put on the sheild and WAHLA! Instant latch!  It was so exciting.  While nursing was still quite painful (and it continued to be for quite some time) Staci was latching.  I could see the colostrum collecting in the sheild so I knew she was getting nourishment.  I was elated.

As luck would have it, by the time we got home, my milk was already starting to come in.  We nursed for a week successfully, and at 5 days old Staci had already surpassed her birthweight.  I felt like a breastfeeding rockstar! The pain, however, was only getting worse. 

I took my newborn and my 'still can't sit down normally' self to the breastfeeding support group offered through the hospital and learned the sheild was probably too small.  The wonderful lactation consultants provided me with a new sheild and while the pain was still there, it wasn't quite as mind boggling.  Over the next few weeks, the pain lessened to only at latch-on.  It still hurt bad enough that I had to ask my husband to not speak to me during latch on.  Otherwise he would get screamed at.  I'm serious--it hurt THAT BAD.  Even so, it was worth it to me, and I knew if I could just press on the pain would subside. 

Around 4 weeks post partum, I was ready to be done with the sheild--I needed one less thing to remember to bring and to clean.  It took us 4 weeks to get rid of it, and I really just had to wait until Staci was ready.  It happened gradually, and then I had to go through the pain all over again--but it was nothing like it had been at first.  after just a few weeks, we were nursing pain free and sheild free--and have been ever since. 

Breastfeeding has been such a wonderful bonding experience with Staci.  I love that I am able to do this for her.  It's what's best for me, too, as it has helped sheild me from post partum depression and/or psychosis.  I can't believe it's been almost nine months!