Sleeptraining is for Sissies (NOT!)

{sigh}. As some of you know, sleep has been a HUGE issue for us over the past few weeks.  It used to be that Staci would sleep 7:30ish to 3:30, wake up to nurse, and then right back down till 7:30ish.  it was wonderful.  there was no rocking, no swaying, no nursing every hour, it was divine.  During the day, she'd sleep 40-60 minutes out of every 2 hour period.  it was tiring because her cycle was so short, but she was sleeping and doing well at night so I was aprehensive to change anything.  Around 15 weeks old, she started waking more at night.  I attributed this to the '4 month sleep regression' and didn't do much about it, just continued to nurse and she would go right back down.  no biggie. 

Over the past few weeks, Staci has stopped sleeping during the day almost completely.  You might think this would make her nighttime sleep better.  Au Contraire.  As per usual for the past month or so, she has been insisting on being rocked to sleep.  It's so weird because we never did that in the past, but in order for her to fall asleep she had to be rocked.  It's not as if she was fussing and so I'm not even sure if CIO (cry it out) would have been an option.  She would just roll over and play with her paci or tag blanket, kick her legs and grunt at us 'till we flipped her over. (at which point she'd flip right on back over, and then be upset she was on her belly).  This would go on for 40ish minutes at which point I'd try to rock her because it was so evident how tired she was.  She'd go to sleep, I'd put her down, and 15 minutes later she'd wake up.  I attributed this to her being overtired, and gave in to rocking her every time for naps, just to get her to sleep.  This worked, for a while.  Gradually, over time, these naps became shorter and shorter, until we got to the point of the past couple of weeks and her notorious 15 minute naps.  I reached the end of my rope when she took a 6 minute nap, and was clearly SOOOO tired.  It's time for me to be a parent, and teach her how and when to sleep if she's not going to do it herself.

I do think there are a few developmental things going on here: (1) she has just learned how to sit up on her own and while still a little wobbly, can sustain it for quite some time; (2) the six month growth spurt; and (3) teething.  She has a lump on her lower left side, I think she may be sprouting her first tooth!  it's either that or a cyst (common in babies), we'll know for sure in a few days. Regardless of these reasons, she needs her sleep (and I need mine)!

I absolutely have to do something or I might start fantasizing about throwing my kid out the window.  It is incredibly frustrating to spend 15-30 minutes rocking her to have her awake less than 15 minutes later.  At this point I figure I have a couple of options. The Sears' method (attachment parenting--AP) or the CIO method/sleep training method (think babywise, the baby whisperer, etc etc).  BOTH sides suggest that a consistant naptime routine during the day will lead to better sleep at night.  I find myself most often on the 'attachment parenting' side of the coin, so for now I'm starting with AP, or the Sears' Method.  In the book written by Dr. Sears' (et al) The Baby Book, they suggest bringing the baby into bed with you.  Since I'm hopeful to have her take 2, 2 hour naps per day and possibly a short nap in the evening, I'm bringing her into bed with me for the first nap, and rocking her for the second.  Since I am not getting much sleep, that morning nap is a lifesaver for me. 

I started implementing this yesterday, and it went really well.  She slept for a little over 2 hours in the morning, while I slept a bit and then just watched her sleep, in awe.  For the afternoon nap, I rocked her to sleep and then set her in her crib.  She slept alone for about 20 minutes (as per her usual) and then I rocked her the rest of naptime, for which she slept in my arms.  Today, the morning nap went much the same way although I was able to sleep the whole time, which was amazing.  The afternoon nap was a bit shorter (90 minutes) , but we did get her down  around 6 for a 20 minute nap in her crib, so that adds up to almost 4 hours during the day.  This, compared to the 90 minutes of sleep she was getting per day (total) is absolutely tremendous and has made a HUGE difference in her mood.  My plan is to get her in this daytime routine and keep my fingers crossed it translates to better nighttime sleep.  Once she's sleeping better at night again, we can start transitioning her to her crib for naps.  For now, the most important thing to me is that she's getting the sleep she so desperately needs.  I enjoy sleeping next to her, and when I'm rocking her for the second nap I just started reading--something I haven't had time to do since she was born.  Since I love to read, this is a great 'mommy break' even though it's not really a break.

I wish I would have realized how harmful not sleeping during the day was to my precious baby girl!  In fact, studies have linked restless sleep patterns with ADHD later in life, as Mark Weissbluth discusses in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.  (look at pgs 393-4)  I'm a bit nervous because her naps, after ~40 minutes, are extremely restless.  I have to be next to her or she will wake up.  For the afternoon nap, if I so much as turn the page too loudly in my book her eyes are WIDE open.  It has only been 2 days, so I'm hopeful that as she gets used to sleeping during these times and becomes more rested, she will eventually begin to have more restful sleep.

I will keep you all updated as we progress.  Wish us luck that I don't have to actually go into sleeptraining, because I'm quite certain I will do as much crying as she does if we end up needing to resort to CIO.  It just doesn't appeal to my style of parenting, but I do think daytime sleep is essential to her well-being so if we have to, we have to.  As of now, my fingers are crossed this gentler method works!   Other suggestions are welcomed! :)